Breaking:

Split off from DWARS Utrecht, DWARS Utrecht occupies DWARS's rural premises in Utrecht.

This has just been confirmed by the National Board of DWARS in Utrecht. It is unclear what the requirements of DWARS Utrecht are, though it is clear that the Airfryer is not in a safe environment. There are rumours of an internal power struggle on the premises between acting president Jona Berkers and general secretary Sjoerd Pol. A red-and-green fortress can be seen from the window, looking suspiciously like a house of cards. DWARS Utrecht, meanwhile, has retreated to the 5th floor, where a fortress of Climate Mores seems to have been built.

We asked Rick Timmermans, chairman of the National Board of DWARS, in Utrecht, who lives in Utrecht, for a comment:

“I fully support this move by DWARS Utrecht. For far too long Utrechters have had to listen to the Utrechters. Especially after the title of most beautiful tower of Utrecht was already savagely taken away from them by an auction at the DWARS Gala, I understand that they have nothing left but this revolt. Besides, I expect this action to have little impact nationwide on the national goings-on of DWARS. Indeed, I see some nice benefits. With the Utrechters taking over the pledge services of the National Board, I expect the LB's workload to be drastically reduced. We thank the Utrechters for their time and commitment. Thank you for supporting us in this way.”